Time in Between
by rooster dawn
Summary: Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.
1. Chapter 1

Title: _**Time in Between**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoiler: none

Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.

Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

**Part one Time of Reflection**

1400 hours

27 Nov 2003

Thanksgiving

Admiral's house

Everyone was excited to be getting together for Thanksgiving at the Admiral's house. It wasn't very often that the Admiral opened up his home to the Jag staff and family. They all were quite pleased to be gathering there.

Jason and Jen had arrived early at the Admiral's request to assure that everything would be ready when everybody arrived. Jen, who was taking over for Jason, had arranged with a caterer to provide dinner for thirty guests.

The dinner consisted of a main course of turkey, mash potatoes, with a choice of Hubbard squash, turnip, pearl onions, peas, and corn for vegetables. There was a bread stuffing containing cranberries, apple, celery, and onion.

There were several different varieties of cranberry sauce for those looking for something tangy to eat to spice up the dinner.

The Admiral had an assortment of wines, beer, and soft drinks to quench the thirst of those attending. No one would go wanting.

As Jason and Jen were putting the final touches around the Admiral's home there was a knock on the door. It was Bud and Harriet. As usual they were the first to arrive. No one had figured out why they always did.

Considering Bud would usually do something to embarrass himself, usually he or someone would spill something on him. It wasn't long before the others began showing up to join them.

One in particular was Carolyn Imes. She had returned to headquarters shortly after it was determined that Harm would not be returning to Jag after his little exclusion to Paraguay to rescued Mac.

The Admiral wasn't happy that Harm had resigned his commission and gone after Mac. In his mind Harm had once again disobeyed him and put his needs and wants ahead of Jag and the Navy. Harm wasn't a team player.

Once again he had gone off half cocked without a plan, without any backup, or assistance. Harm didn't care that the CIA and the Navy might have devised a plan of their own to rescue Webb and Mac.

He just wanted to do something now without thinking about the possible international ramifications he would be causing. Harmon Rabb Jr. was an instant gratification junkie.

The Admiral had had enough of Harm's attitude especially since Harm had just spent six weeks in the brig for being less than honest with the NCIS investigators. He had asked Harm what Harm would do to keep Mac after he found her.

When it turned out he hadn't done anything, the Admiral decided it was time to let Harm go. He didn't deserve to be in the Navy anymore. After the fiasco with Brumby, the Admiral had decided he didn't want to go through that again.

Harm had become a liability, someone he couldn't trust to use good judgment anymore. If Harm couldn't tell the woman he love that he love her and let her go to another man, maybe he wasn't worthy of wearing the uniform anymore.

Also arriving at the party was Sturgis with his new lady friend Varise and his father. He seemed to be happy again now that he had someone to love and love him back. She wasn't the headache that Bobbie had been.

1700 hours

Later that afternoon Mac, Carolyn, Jen, and Harriet were sitting by the fireplace. They were talking about what had been happening at Jag over the last six months since Mac had returned from Paraguay.

Carolyn, for one, wasn't sure what had happened. She couldn't believe that Harm was no longer in the Navy, never mind not being at Jag. She had always believed like everyone else that Harm was a lifer.

He would be in the Navy long past his twenty, at least thirty. They all knew he was being groomed to some day take over as the JAG of the Navy. What had gone wrong? Why wasn't he here anymore?

"Do you miss him Ma'am?" asked Harriet. It hadn't been the same around Jag since the Commander had resigned. Things were too quiet.

"Miss who Harriet?" asked Mac, not sure who Harriet was talking about.

"You know, the Commander, Ma'am. You two were so close Ma'am." sighed Harriet.

"Maybe at one time Harriet, maybe before Bud stepped on a landmine. I honestly thought that something might have been possible last Christmas, but everything slowly changed until we grew apart last spring.

Harm had been distant for several months. He was quiet and didn't talk much. I didn't understand why until the NCIS investigation. Even then he wouldn't talk to me." replied Mac.

"I don't understand Sarah, why isn't Harm here with us? He was the heart and soul of Jag. He was the Navy poster boy who could walk on water. He could do no wrong." asked Carolyn.

"Apparently he screwed up one time too many Carolyn. Harm likes to push the envelope whether it's flying jets or pursuing a case in the courtroom. It even began to affect his actions in the office. The Admiral had enough.

This past year was his undoing. His actions drew too much negative attention to himself. He allowed the dirty nuke to lock on him to save the fleet. It caused great embarrassment for the CIA. They had no clue to what was going on.

Then he disobeyed orders last year to return to headquarters after Bud's mishap. He decided to stay on board ship while Bud was in surgery even though he knew only one of us could stay.

He interfered with my investigation of Lieutenant Singer's pregnancy, which led him to being less than cooperative when her murder was being investigated by NCIS. He was almost convicted of her murder.

The Admiral began seeing him as someone he couldn't trust anymore to do his job, that he was too much a loose cannon. He was ordered not to get involved in a CIA mission. He disregarded everyone's wishes and got involved anyway." answered Mac.

"The Commander resigned his commission to save your life Ma'am. He loves you." argued Harriet.

At the sound of 'he loves you' Sturgis walked over to joined them. He was interested in hearing the whole story. He had his own viewpoint based on conversations he had with Harm before he left to be with the CIA.

"He told you that Harriet? Did he tell you Carolyn, Jen? What about you Sturgis? Did he tell you that he loved me?" asked Mac.

She was tired of people telling her that Harm loved her when he didn't. Not once in seven years that they had been partners together had he ever told her that. She had been hoping that maybe he would tell her when they were together in Paraguay.

They were in bed together. She thought they were ready to make love before they were interrupted by Gunny and Webb, but they didn't. Once again Harm became distant and surly. He lost focus and turned it elsewhere.

She wouldn't have known Harm resigned his commission if Webb hadn't told her. She wondered why he couldn't tell her. She wondered why he allowed Webb to interfere with their relationship.

They all shook their head no. They couldn't say that Harm had ever told them. All they knew was the way the Commander was whenever he was around her. He always had the look of someone in love.

"Mac, he went to Paraguay to rescue you because he loved you. He told the Admiral that. It's why he had to resign his commission." argued Sturgis.

"Then why didn't he tell me Sturgis? He told me he got married. He said nothing about resigning his commission. I had to find that out from Webb. He definitely didn't tell me he love me. I would have remembered that." she replied. "If anything he pushed me away."

"He told me it was you who pushed him away. He said you told him that there could never would be an us." argued Sturgis.

"I see he only told you one side of the story, a story where he forgot about his ill manners and his vile tongue. He wasn't the innocent victim that he pretends to be Sturgis. He was a major player." corrected Mac.

"Do you remember what he said to you when you first stuck your nose into our relation? You know, when I came out of the elevator in the middle of your conversation?" asked Mac waiting for an answer.

Sturgis nodded his head. There was no reason to say the words. They had been very hurtful. He had been quite surprised to hear them then. That he would actually say them again was mind boggling.

"Well he repeated them to me again that night, a night I thought was going to be quite wonderful before we were interrupted. He also said I should go be with Webb.

As for saying Never, it was in reference to there Never has been an Us. That there would Never be an Us, if he couldn't come to grips with his insipid jealousy." answered Mac.

"Anytime a man shows interest in me his behavior becomes very childish. Instead of telling me his feelings, he becomes spiteful and he sulks. If he loved me he would fight for me." whined Mac.

"That's why we parted on such bad terms. He pushed me away. He doesn't love me. And to answer your original question, Do I miss him? No Harriet I don't. You can't miss something you never had. He's been gone almost a year for me Harriet.

I've stopped trying to figure out what he wants. I've stopped wondering if he will ever love me. He's gone Harriet. He's not coming back. Harm has moved on with his life. I have done the same."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: _**Time in Between**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoiler: none

Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.

Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

**part two What's there to be Thankful for**

1800 hours

It wasn't long after their conversation that Jason announced that dinner was ready. Everyone grabbed a plate and helped themselves to something to eat. The Admiral asked that everyone wait until everyone had something.

He wanted everyone to join with him in giving thanks. It had been a long hard year with many heartaches. The Admiral wanted everyone to say something that they were thankful fall.

"I want to thank everyone for coming. It has been a hard year for all of us. We have lost several members of our little family, Loren Singer to a senseless murder and Commander Rabb, who resigned his commission to start a new career." began the Admiral.

Mac coughed a few times. Yeah right she thought. Harm had the balls to be a man and do the right thing unlike the Admiral. Harm was a hero. The Admiral was a coward who didn't fight for his people anymore.

"We almost lost Lieutenant Roberts to an act of war. I would also like to welcome two new members to our family, Commander Imes and Petty Officer Coates." continued the Admiral.

"I'm thankful for being back here. I have always loved being in our nation's capitol and being among old friends." smiled Carolyn.

"I'm happy that Jen is a quick thinker and fast on her feet. Thank you Jen for saving my life so I could return to my family and Jag." quipped Bud.

"Thank you Jen for saving Bud. I don't know how I would have been able to go on if you hadn't. You are a hero to little AJ and me. We will be forever grateful." wailed Harriet.

"I would like to thank Varise for being in my life. I would also like to thank the Admiral for putting up with me as I dug my head out of my six." added a remorseful Sturgis.

"I would like to thank the Admiral for recommending me for officer's candidate school. He has always been very supportive of my career aspirations." chirped Jason.

"I would like to thank Colonel MacKenzie and Commander Rabb for helping me turn my life around. It was their confidence in me and their sound advice that made it all possible. Thank for recommending me for duty here Colonel." smiled Jen.

She loved working here. There were so many people who had been very supportive of her. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for them, something she had proven while she was in Afghanistan.

It was Mac's turn. She had hoped to avoid saying anything. Even though she was thankful for a lot, the person she was thankful to the most wasn't here due to several factors beyond her control.

She had been glad Harm had shown up when he had. He had saved her from certain torture and maybe even death. But she wasn't happy about how he treated her afterwards and what he had said to her.

She had thought they had moved past the hurtful behavior over the last several years, particularly after Mic left. Obviously they hadn't. He had been a miserable S.O.B. after Webb had shown up.

She couldn't believe that Harm had given up on her, that he could so easily throw away their relationship. But what had hurt even worse was his total avoidance of her and Jag after they returned.

She had thought that they could talk after they had settled back in and when there was cooler heads. She had called him many times to say she was sorry, but he never answered the phone, he never returned her calls.

What was she supposed to do? All this heartache because she kissed Webb goodbye before Gunny took him to a hospital. All she was doing was thanking him for saving her from being tortured before Harm arrived to rescue her.

Harm should have been happy that Webb had kept her safe. Why had he been so anal? Why couldn't he have just loved her without being jealous of a man she had no interest in. She was brought out of her musing by Harriet.

"Ma'am, Ma'am, it's your turn. What are you thankful for?" chirped Harriet.

"I'm thankful for being a Marine." replied Mac.

She didn't want to say anything else. If she said she was thankful to being alive and here at Jag, she would have to bring up why Harm wasn't here.

How could she be thankful for being at Jag when the Admiral forced Harm to resign his commission to come after her? How could she be thankful for the Admiral's betrayal of the Marine and Seal creed of 'Leave No Man Behind'?

"Ma'am?" asked Harriet in confusion.

Mac glared over at the Admiral to put an end to this part of the dinner. She proceeded to begin gobbling down her dinner without answering Harriet.

"Let's eat!" ordered the Admiral following her lead.

He wasn't sure what was wrong with Mac, but now wasn't the time or the place to have a conversation about it with her. He did feel her comment was directed at him. It was as if she stuck a knife into his chest.

2100 hours

It was getting late in the day. Soon people would begin leaving. The Admiral thought long and hard before deciding this would be as good a time as any to inform his staff about his future plans. He stood up to address them.

Jason, anticipating that the Admiral was going to address the group, yelled out "Admiral on Deck!"

"Thank you all for coming here today. It's not often that I entertain, something I've been amiss about. I guess it's a part of being single for so long. You rarely think of others at this time of year.

I'm from the old school, a school that believed that a CO should never get too close to his people. Everyone gathered here today are as close to a family as I've ever had in nearly thirty five years I've served in the Navy.

It is that reason that I want to announce that I will be stepping down as the JAG next May. It should give the SecNav ample time to find a replacement for me and for the rest of you time to adjust to a new JAG." informed the Admiral.

"This will probably be one of the last times I will have an organized get together with all of you. I want to thank you all for making my time here enjoyable. I will not forget you."

There was a murmur throughout the room as everyone gasp in surprise. Commander Rabb was gone and now the Admiral would be leaving. How were they going to get the Commander back if the Admiral left?

"But why Sir?" asked Bud.

"My time is up Lieutenant. It will be thirty six years in May. Time for this old war seal to be put out to sea." replied the Admiral.

"What will you do Sir?" asked Harriet.

"I will be spending more time with my daughter. We will travel across America this summer visiting all the baseball ballparks. We hope to end up in Boston in October for the World Series." replied the Admiral.

An hour later the Admiral got Mac alone to talk to her about her comment, that she was thankful to being a marine. He had been taken by surprised by her comment. He had thought she was doing quite well since her return from Paraguay.

"What's the story Mac? What's going on? All you have to be thankful for is being a Marine?" asked the Admiral with an edge to his voice.

"What would you have me say Admiral? Should I be thankful that you decided to let me to die? Should I be thankful that you forced Harm to resign his commission to come rescue me when you didn't have the balls to do so yourself?

Should I be thankful that you didn't take Harm back after he completed his mission to save me and then completed the CIA mission of destroying a hundred stinger missiles which saved thousands of potential lives?

Should I be thankful that you don't repay the loyalty that people under your command don't think twice about doing?

When the SecNav wanted you to resign for spitting on a high school kid, I was there for you.

When you thought about resigning after the Lindsey report, Harm and I were there to rebut all the charges.

Where were you when Harm was thrown into the brig for a murder you knew he wasn't capable of committing? You ordered everyone to stay away from him. He felt like everyone deserted him.

Very nice behavior from you considering he has always looked up to you as a father figure.

He flaunted a lot of regulations last winter to go after you when you foolishly ejected yourself from an F-14. He was ordered back to Washington, but he stayed to find you. He would do anything for you Sir, but I can see that it isn't mutual.

All the respect I had for you Sir is gone. I can't respect a man who would go against his Seal training and let me die. I can't respect a man who would force another man to resign his commission to the right thing.

I can't respect a man who is resentful of another man for doing the right thing and not welcoming him back when he's a hero to everyone who has ever known him." replied Mac with tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Mac, I can explain everything. I was under a lot of pressure from the SecNav after the Lindsey report." began the Admiral as he tried to make Mac understand.

"Not interested Sir. You've had six months to explain and correct the error. You haven't. I can only assume that Harm and I aren't that important to you or to this command if you were willing to let me die." interrupted Mac.

Nothing the Admiral could say now could bring Harm back to her. She wondered how much of their fight in Paraguay wouldn't have happened if Harm hadn't been under the stress of resigning his commission.

She was certain of one thing though, she and Harm would have been able to work through what had been said if he was still at Jag. Once again she was alone without the man she love.

"Anything you say now would only be an excuse Sir. It won't change anything. Harm is still gone. Morale at Jag is lower than low. And life just plain sucks." finished Mac.

"I'm sorry that's how you feel Mac. It was never my intentions ... " the Admiral attempted to apologize.

"Sorry doesn't keep my bed warm. Sorry doesn't bring Harm back. Sorry doesn't restore what I had with Harm before he was thrown into the brig. I'm leaving Sir. I have nothing more to say and you have nothing I want to hear. Good night Sir."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: _**Time in Between**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoiler: none

Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.

Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

**Part three Time of Discovery**

5 Dec 2003

Jag Headquarters

Mac walked out of her office. It had been a long trying day in court. It was one of those cases she wished Harm was around so she could talk to him about it. They would brainstorm and come up with a winning strategy.

But he wasn't there anymore so she would have to muddle through it and hope for a break. Sturgis was the prosecutor so she didn't expect him to make any blatant errors. Maybe she could get Sturgis to plead bargain.

Yeah right, ever since he had his six reamed out for giving only an adequate defense of his client, as said by Bud, Sturgis had been anal about everything. He didn't look for compromises in court anymore.

She wondered what was going on as she saw half the staff standing in front of the news screens in the bullpen. She saw Chuck DePalmer talking away about something. It must be something big if he was reporting on it.

She walked over closer to one of the screens to listen more closely and stood next to several of the staff members.

"This is Chuck DePalmer. I'm standing here on the deck of the Seahawk.__They have spent the last twenty five minutes clearing the deck of all aircraft. This is a highly unusual move ... but the information that I have received from the scuttlebutt that is running amuck is ... "

'Come on Chuck, get to the point. Why do you always have to drag it out? You're boring us.' thought Mac. She needed to get a cup of coffee before finishing up some paperwork. She felt like leaving early today.

"They're clearing the deck for a C-130 to land. I have checked with a few of the old seadogs on board to find out if this has ever been attempted before. They told me it has happened only once before almost thirty years ago dating back to the Viet Nam War." reported Chuck.

'Who would be crazy enough to try something like that?' Mac thought. She thought they had gotten rid of all the crazy pilots several years ago. The call sign 'XMAN' came to mind.

Then a familiar thought hit her, it had to be Harm. Only someone crazy enough to have a dirty nuke fly up his six would be crazy enough to try and pull this stunt. It had to be him. No one in the Navy would even think about landing a C-130 on a carrier. They would all head towards land.

Carolyn walked over to where Mac was standing. She saw that Mac was deep in thought. It didn't look like she was paying any attention to the screen. She wondered what Mac was thinking about.

"What's going on Sarah?" she asked.

"I think we're going to see the latest of the great escapades of Harmon Rabb Jr., the former ... great ... Naval ... aviator. No one else would be foolish or stupid enough or even brave enough to pull off this stunt." replied Mac.

"What stunt is that?" asked Carolyn.

"Land a C-130 on an aircraft carrier." replied Mac shaking her head. She wondered what Harm was trying to prove.

"Why's that?" asked Carolyn.

"Because the wingspan of the C-130 is almost as wide as the ship, the ramp isn't long enough by any stretch of the imagination for a plane of that size to stop, and I don't think the wire can hold something that big and heavy.

F-18's are a hell of a lot smaller and they sometimes break the wire." sighed Mac.

"It can't be all that bad. If he didn't think he could land it, he would just bail out." replied Carolyn.

"Maybe that would be true for most pilots, but I'm not so sure about Harm. He doesn't like to admit failure. Something else must be going on that Chuck doesn't know about.

Harm wouldn't have chosen to land on an aircraft carrier if he didn't have to especially now that he's no longer in the Navy.

Add the fact that Chuck DePalmer is reporting on it, something subversive must be taking place." explained Mac as she noticed Chuck was speaking again.

"The C-130 is unloading all its spare fuel keeping just enough to make it to the ship. From what I've just learned from the LSO, the C-130 will be hitting it's air brakes and throwing the engine into reverse in an effort to stop the plane before it falls off the deck and into the ocean." reported Chuck.

"This is Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah, Seahawk please come in." radioed Harm.

"Sir, we have contact with an unidentified C-130. It doesn't appear to be registered to any military organization that I'm aware of." a petty officer reported to the Captain.

"Must be a rogue operation, probably CIA. Ask them what they want petty officer." cursed the Captain.

"What can we do for you Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah." radioed the petty officer.

"I need permission to land aboard your carrier." replied Harm hoping he wouldn't have to spend much time convincing the Captain.

The Captain winced when he heard that. He also winced when he recognized the voice of the pilot.

"God damm you Rabb." he muttered to himself. "What the Hell are you doing out here?" The Captain picked up the mike.

"I think you should return to the nearest land available Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah. This aircraft carrier isn't large enough for you to land." ordered the Captain.

"Sir, you're closer. I don't think we can make it back to land. Our fuel tanks were hit. We're leaking fuel. I've lost half my engines." replied Harm.

"Then you should bail out and ditch the plane Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah." replied the Captain.

"I would Sir, but I have more passengers than I have Chutes. Many of them are small children. They would all drown Sir." argued Harm.

The Captain turned to the CAG and asked "Has this ever been done before CAG, LSO? Is it possible for a C-130 to even land on a carrier." The C-130 was a very big bird, possibly as large as the ship.

"Yes Sir, it has been done before, ... once, ... over thirty years ago. We would have to clear the deck of every plane Sir. The wingspan of a C-130 is as wide as the ship Sir." replied the CAG.

"Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah, what is your ETA before you reach here?" asked the Captain.

"Thirty minutes Sir." replied Harm.

"That doesn't give us much time Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah. We have a lot of jets to move out of the way." informed the Captain.

"Yes Sir, I can try to reduce speed to give you more time, but I need to keep the plane in the air. Half of my engines have been damage. I don't have any extra power." replied Harm.

"Make sure you get rid of any extra fuel before you attempt to land Zulu Bravo Epsilon niner niner fiver fourah. I don't want a fireball on my ship." ordered the Captain.

"Yes Sir." replied Harm.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: _**Time in Between**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoiler: none

Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.

Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

**part four A Hero Once Again**

Mac stood there watching the screen. Her mind began to wander. She began to think of another time not so long ago when Harm came back from a mission over Afghanistan with his plane all shot up, one engine out, and fuel leaking out of the other.

She had prayed that day for Harm to be safe. She was glad she didn't have to deal with that emotion very often because Harm didn't fly much anymore, but unfortunately he did have too many close calls.

She began praying again that Harm knew what he was doing. Her hope was that Webb had been truthful with her when he told her that the CIA only utilized his piloting skills for their missions.

She saw the fuel being ejected. Soon, real soon she would know if Harm would once again do the impossible, be superman one more time. Soon she would see if Harm was still alive or that he had finally killed himself.

Ten minutes later the C-130 landed catching the wires. As expected it didn't hold, the plane was still moving forward. She could see the wheels were locked with smoke spewing everywhere.

She could hear the squealing of the wheels as the plane was slowing down, but would there be enough runway? Could Harm get the plane to stop. She could see it was going to be very close. The plane was slowing down very fast as it approached the end.

Finally it was over. The plane had stopped with only a few feet to spare. She could see the hatch opening up. There were people quickly exiting the plane, about fifteen in all.

Then she saw him. She saw Harm walking along with a great big flyboy smile that she loved so much. The smile that always left her knees weak and shaky.

He was carrying a small child, a girl by the looks of it. She shook her head. He always manages to get the girl.

Once again Harm was a hero, but at what cost? She knew the CIA missions succeeded because they worked undercover. No one knew who they were or where they were located. In twenty four hours the world would once again know who Harmon Rabb Jr. was.

She saw Bud hurrying her way. As usual he was very excited, especially since his mentor had once again saved the day. He was alive.

"Ma'am!" huffed Bud as he stopped in front of her. "Did you see it?"

"Yes Bud, I saw the whole thing. I saw Harm." she replied.

"Wasn't it amazing? It had been done only once before. I didn't know the Commander could fly C-130's. He's a hero. He saved all those people from terrorists." rambled Bud.

"That he did Bud, That he did." sighed Mac as she listened for a few more minutes before returning to her office to finish up her work for the day.

****

Part five Time of Rewards

23 Dec 2003

Jag headquarters

It was an unusually quiet time of year at Jag. Normally there would be reports of altercations between drunken sailors and marines, domestic abuse cases, and petty thefts. This year was quite different.

The thought going through the staff was that many of the potential troublemakers were deployed over seas on carriers, in Iraq, and/or in Afghanistan. There was also the case, many of the units stationed in Europe and South Korea weren't allowing their personnel to return to the states either.

They thought there might be a possible need for those troops if action broke out in the Middle East that couldn't be handled by the personnel that were currently stationed there. The commanders wanted their troops close by so they could respond quickly if necessary.

Carolyn was debating whether or not she should get some of the other ladies in the office together for a night out before the Christmas season overwhelmed them, particularly Harriet who like to invite people over for a Christmas Eve dinner.

She deserved a night out with friends after dealing with Bud's recovery and rehabilitation and two rambunctious boys who never stop.

She went into the break room for a late afternoon cup of coffee. She saw Mac pouring herself a cup while talking with Jen about her plans for the holidays. Carolyn's eyes lit up. She could kill two birds with one stone.

"Hi Mac, what's happening? Do you have any plans for tonight?" greeted Carolyn.

"Hi Carolyn. I'm trying to finish up some paperwork before I leave for the day. I have a few more presents left to wrap. Thought I might finish reading a book I started a few months ago." smiled Mac.

She was wondering what Harm was up to. She missed having him around, especially at Christmas time. He helped ease the ache of not having a family of her own.

"I was thinking about asking a few of the ladies in the office if they would like to have a ladies night out. I heard about this new nightclub that opened last month. It has a dance floor, some live entertainment, and lots of good looking men." ginned Carolyn.

"You're more than welcome to join us Jen. The more of us that go the merrier it will be. It's time to let our hair down and party." invited Carolyn.

"Thank you Ma'am, I would be happy to join you and the Colonel." smiled Jen.

She had heard about a great new place. It had great food and music. She felt it was always better to go to new places with friends. It made it easier to fend off the unwanted and to leave if you didn't want to stay.

"Sure Carolyn, what the heck. It's been a long time since I've gone out." smiled Mac.

Maybe it would take the edge off of not having Harm around this year. Last year had been the best Christmas she could ever remember having. It had been so special. They had cooked dinner together and had later opened their presents in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace.

"Good, if Jen doesn't mind helping me, we can make the rounds around the bullpen and invite everyone of the fairer sex. I want to let everyone know they're welcome." smiled Carolyn

2000 hours

Hooligans Night Club

a Local Singles Bar

Harm was sitting around back stage. Once again he was out of a job that he liked. What was he going to do next? He could try and get a job as a lawyer in town. There were plenty of firms available, he had great connections with the government.

He was sure many firms would be eager to snatch him up. He grabbed the beer sitting on the table next to him and took a swig. He had won an amateur talent show last week and the owner offered him a couple of sets tonight to sing and make a few bucks.

He had sung a few songs earlier in the evening and had another set scheduled for later. He was nursing a beer thinking about how different this Christmas would be compared to last year's.

He wondered how he had screwed it up so bad. Last year at this time he was involved with the most wonderful woman he had ever known. They were finally heading in the right direction. He had thought about asking Mac to marry him before it all fell apart.

First there was the distraction with Singer and her pregnancy. Why had he become so involved with it? He had asked her if Sergei, his brother, was the father of her baby. She had told him Sergei wasn't the baby's father many times, but he wouldn't listen to her.

Why hadn't he believed her? Because he never believed anything she told him. He always assumed the worse whenever he was dealing with her although that belief was usually ill founded.

He had never caught her doing anything wrong. He shouldn't have disliked her so much just because she had set such high goals for herself, to become the first female JAG. He guess he was angry with her because he felt Mac would become the first female JAG.

But when one thought about it. If he became the JAG, would there ever be an opportunity for Mac? Did Mac even want to be the JAG? If her goal was to have a family, maybe she wouldn't have stayed in the Marines.

His mind was straying. Get back on the subject of what he was thinking about. Because he couldn't let it go, it eventually led him to being thrown in the brig for her murder, a murder he didn't commit.

He had been elusive with his answers with NCIS making it look like he had something to hide. It could be argued that he was obstructing an investigation therefore obstructing Justice. Upon reflection, he couldn't blame NCIS for thinking the worse about him.

Then Webb came up with one of his ill conceived and convoluted plans which was doomed to fail from the start, they always did. He wanted Mac to pose as his pregnant wife. Why did he need a pregnant wife?

Somehow he convinced the Admiral to let Mac go with him without backup. Mac agreed to go with him. Did any of them think about what could go wrong and if it did, how were they going to rescue them?

Harm didn't know whom he hated more, Webb for getting Mac involved in one of his schemes or the Admiral for making him resigned his commission to go after her when the mission failed.

He hated Webb for pursuing Mac. He was supposed to be his friend. You don't try to steal a woman away from a friend. He hated Webb for taking Mac away from him, but then again she was never his to lose.

He hated the Admiral because he abandoned Mac to die in a foreign country. A Seal was supposed to never leave a man behind. What was wrong with him? Didn't he care for his people anymore or was he only concerned about his own butt?

Did another year in the Navy mean that much to him? What did he have, thirty four, thirty five years in the Navy? What was one more year? He was ready to resign a year early after the Lindsey Report.

When he rescued Mac and completed the mission, he should have been welcomed back a hero. Instead he was castrated of any self worth he may have had left. He was denied the opportunity of returning to the Navy.

The edge had to go to the Admiral. The man had destroyed his life in a matter of a few weeks. The Admiral had denied him of any emotional support when he was in the brig. He allowed him to rot for more than a month in the brig, and he didn't let him go after Mac.

If he was offered an opportunity to rejoin Jag now, he didn't think he could do so if the Admiral was still there. As far as he was concerned the Admiral was a disgrace to the uniform and the Seal medal he wore on his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: _**Time in Between**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoiler: none

Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.

Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

**part six Party time**

Carolyn, Mac, Jen, Harriet, and the other ladies of Jag walked into the nightclub. They looked around and took in the ambience, it truly was amazing. It looked so elegant. It had a great ambience to it. It was the perfect place to be especially with someone you love.

They were shown to a few tables not far from the stage. They all ordered their drinks and snacks. They began talking about their lives, their hopes for the future, and what might have been. They eventually worked their way around to talking about Harm.

"Have you heard from him Sarah?" asked Carolyn.

"What?" replied Mac.

She had been in a fog. She had been thinking about how much Harm would have loved this place. How they would have probably come here several times in the last few months to dance. This place was so perfect. He somehow always knew about places like this.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was thinking about something else." replied Mac as she became aware of the others at the table looking at her as if they knew whom she was thinking of.

"You were thinking about him Sarah, about the Commander. How this would be the perfect place to dine and dance." injected Jen.

Jen was going to school for a Psychology degree. One of her favorite things about psychology was observing people. Over the years she had closely observed Harm and Mac starting with the first time she saw them together.

She had thought them to be the perfect couple. The way they talked to each other, the non verbal body language, and the subtle way they looked at each other spoke volumes about how they felt about each other.

She was surprised that they hadn't gotten together yet. Something happened on the Colonel's last mission that blew their relationship apart. She didn't know if she would ever learn about what happened. All she knew was the Commander was somehow at fault.

"We all miss him Ma'am. He's been a major part of our lives for so long. It's not easy knowing that he not there anymore whenever we need him." added Harriet.

"Have you heard from him Sarah? It's been a few weeks since the CIA fired him." asked Carolyn again.

"Nope, I haven't heard from him since he left the Admiral's office last spring. The Admiral chewed him out pretty bad in front of me. He said Harm wasn't a team player, he was too much of a glory hound.

He was gone before I could leave the Admiral's office to talk to him. I never saw him again until he was on ZNN after he landed the C-130. I've tried calling him, I even left him messages, but he has never returned any of my calls." sighed Mac.

Why were they bringing all this up again? This was supposed to be a party, a night out on the town. They were here to have a good time, not to talk about what wasn't. She was here to be cheered up if only for a few hours.

She didn't want to talk about Harm. Thinking about him only made her feel sad and miserable that he was no longer in her life. He had walked away from her once again. This had been the third time. She guessed it wasn't meant to be.

They looked up to the stage. Music was beginning to play. A singer came out on stage and began singing "

I'm Mister Lonely". He was very tall and very good looking. His hair was quite long. He reminded them of someone they all once knew.

Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,  
I have nobody for my own.  
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,  
wish I had someone to call on the phone.

I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier,

Away from home through no wish of my own.  
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,  
I wish that I could go back home.

Letters, never a letter,  
I get no letters in the mail.  
I've been forgotten, yeah, forgotten,  
Oh how I wonder how is it I failed.

I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier,  
Away from home through no wish of my own  
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,  
I wish that I could go back home.

The song got Mac to thinking of Harm again. This probably would be a song of how Harm was feeling right now. His life had been the Navy and Jag. All his close friends were associated with the Navy.

He had to be alone. Even though she was here with their friends, she often felt herself being lonely without Harm in her life.

The singer then went on to sing "

Pretty Woman", which got the mostly female crowd going berserk. They love the way he was singing the song. He walked around the stage looking into each woman's eyes as he sung.

When the singer began singing his third song the Jag gang all began to realized who he was, it was Harm. They were all surprised and stunned.

He had come nearer to them and they had gotten a closer look. They were surprised not only that it was him, but that he was such a good singer. They all looked over to Mac.

"Why are you all looking at me? I didn't know he was here. I didn't even know he was in town." replied Mac. "Carolyn?"

"I didn't know anything about it either Sarah. I just heard this was a great place to come to. This is the first time I've been here myself. I swear Sarah." replied Carolyn.

"He looks good Mac. He looks really sexy with long hair." commented Jen.

By this time Mac wasn't listening to them anymore. All she could do was looked at Harm, the man she still loved more than anything else. He looked better than ever though he had a look of sadness that only she could see.

She could see that he was as unhappy as she was. He looked so lost to her as though he was drowning in a sea of despair. She wondered if any of the others could see the pain she saw?

Every time Harm finished a song the women in the crow would holler their approval. To them he was a heartthrob. He was beautiful and he could sing. The more they clapped the better he performed for them.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: _**Time in Between**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Classification: Harm/Mac

Spoiler: none

Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.

Summary: This story takes place after Harm joins the CIA.

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

**part seven Sing Me a Song**

Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell,

heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field,

from a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade,

your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change

And did you exchange,

a walk-on part in the war,

for a lead role in a cage...

How I wish,

how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl,

year after year

Running over the same old ground,

what have we found -

the same old fears?

Wish you were here

After he had finished singing "

_Wish You Were Here" _Harm saw them. At first he only recognized Harriet and Jen. He wondered if Mac was there with them. Then he saw Mac, the woman he still loved, sitting with their friends.

She looked so beautiful. Her had grown out a lot and it now framed her face perfectly. She had a look of loneliness too. Maybe there was still hope for them to be together.

As he finished the song he went back to the band and asked them to play another song. He went out on stage again. He walked around on stage for a minute before ending up not far from their table.

____

Lost Without You

"Don't Forget to Remember Me"

Oh my heart won't believe that you have left me  
I keep telling my self that it's true  
I can get over anything you want my love  
But I can't get myself over you

Don't forget to remember me  
And the love that used to be  
I still remember you  
I love you  
In my heart lies a memory to tell the stars above  
Don't forget to remember me my love

On my wall lies a photograph of you girl  
Though I try to forget you somehow  
You're the mirror of my soul so take me out of my hole  
Let me try to go on living right now

Don't forget to remember me  
And the love that used to be  
I still remember you  
I love you  
In my heart lies a memory to tell the stars above  
Don't forget to remember me my love

He slowly looked and moved around the stage before standing in front of Mac. The women in the audience all swoon as Harm's voice carried them to a romantic frenzy.

Harm moved down the steps to stand in front of Mac. The audience could see that he was singing to Mac as if no one else was there with them. He reached out a hand to Mac and beckoned her to come with him. She reached out and took his hand.

Harm continued singing as he pulled her up and led her on stage with him. There was more swooning from the audience as they watched Harm lead the tall slender beautiful woman on stage. How they all envied Mac.

Carolyn, Jen, and Harriet began to cry at the wonderful sight they were seeing. True love was finally expressing itself between two people they loved so dearly. They hoped this was the beginning of something wonderful.

Harm continued to sing as he drew Mac into his arms and began slow dancing with her. He sung softly and sweetly. Mac's eyes were close as she absorbed the warmth of his embrace around her. Her smile was slowly growing.

Finally as Harm was singing ever so softly into Mac's ear and microphone he said "I love you baby." before stopping and just holding her tightly to his chest. He didn't move. Mac didn't move.

They just enjoyed the feeling on being there together for the first time in many months. The crowd was going wild as they all appreciated what they were seeing. It was a true love story, one that would last forever in their minds.

epilog

Later that night the Admiral was watching the news on TV. It was time for the entertainment segment. Usually he would walked out to the kitchen at this time to get a snack before turning in, but tonight he was too tired.

They were talking about a new nightclub geared toward the older generation. It sounded like a place he would take a lady friend for some fine dining and dancing.

A perfect place for a quiet Saturday night out. It also made him think of what ifs. It was a place he believed that Harm and Mac would surely visit. He had always pictured them as a couple enjoying life.

"This is Ted Sullivan reporting for WEEZ TV. We're at the grand opening of

Hooligans Night Club, Andrea. It turned out to be a very special night as two long lost souls found each other."

'No it couldn't be.' thought the Admiral.

"The winner of a local Amateur Singing Contest wowed the socks off the mostly all female audience. At the end he sung a very special song for a special lady. He went down into the crowd and brought her back on stage with him."

'It has to be him. It has to be her. I just know I'm going to get a phone call.' thought the Admiral.

"No matter how hard I try I can't give this story the proper feeling. It was so emotional you just had to cry. So without further adieu, roll the tape Sandy."

The Admiral watched as he saw Harm go into the crowd and lead Mac back on stage with him. He was singing a love ballad to her. Then they were dancing like two long lost lovers. He sighed as the telephone rang.

He reached over and said "Chegwidden. Yes Sir, I was expecting your call."

__

The End

I'm Mr. Lonely, by Bobby Vinton

Pretty Woman, by Roy Orbison

Wish You Were Here, by Pink Floyd

Lost Without You, by Delta Goodrem

Don't Forget to Remember Me, by the Bee Gees

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes (I say)  
A little righteous and too proud  
I just wanna find a way to compromise  
Cause I believe we can work things out

I thought that I had all the answers  
never givin in  
but baby since you've gone  
I admit I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without you  
I'm not gonna lie  
how am I gonna be strong without you  
I need you by my side  
if we ever say we'd never be together  
in the end you wave goodbye  
dunno what I'd do  
I'm lost without you

I keep trying to find my way  
and all I know is I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to face the day  
I'm lost without you

How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues  
baby I'm so lonely all the time  
everywhere I go I get so confused  
your the only thing that's on my mind

On my bed so cold at night  
I miss you more each day  
only you can make it right  
no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you  
I'm not gonna lie  
how am I gonna be strong without you  
I need you by my side  
if we ever say we'd never be together  
in the end you wave goodbye  
dunno what I'd do  
I'm lost without you

I keep trying to find my way  
and all I know is I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to face the day  
I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now  
make the pain just go away  
can't stop the tears from running down my face (ho)

All I know is I'm lost without you  
I'm not gonna lie  
how am I gonna be strong without you  
I need you by my side  
if we ever say we'd never be together  
in the end you wave goodbye  
dunno what I'd do  
I'm lost without you

I keep trying to find my way  
and all I know is I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to face the day  
an all I know is  
I'm lost without your love  
I keep trying to find my way  
and all I know is  
I'm lost without you (ho)  
I'm lost without you

Mac had stopped talking with Jen when she heard Harm singing this song. She knew he was telling her how much he missed her. Tears began to form in her eyes as well as she listened to music playing in the background. He still loved her.

Everyone at the table looked at her wondering what she would do, how she would react? They all saw moisture in her eyes as they all knew that Mac still cared for Harm and that she was moved by his declaration.

Harm began singing his last song of the night. "Don't Forget to Remember Me". It was a special one for Mac.


End file.
